12 Ways to Develop Empathy in Your Child

To develop the capacity to feel empathy for others, a child must feel seen, felt, heard, and understood by at least one primary caregiver. Family members who know, appreciate, and respect a child regardless of external accomplishments help that child feel emotionally attached to a caring adult. These kinds of loving relationships increase a child’s ability to care for others

Active listening is a practice that helps parents and children grow in their understanding of each other. Three skills most often associated with good listening are:
1) Respect the other person,
2) Listen more than you talk, and
3) Always seek understanding.

Let your child know that empathy is not a fixed trait—that it develops over time. Dr. Michele Borba suggests telling kids: “Empathy can be increased with practice just like your muscles stretch with exercise…. The more you practice, the better you’ll be at understanding another’s thoughts and feelings.

It is no surprise that adults feel good about themselves when they show kindness to their children and grandchildren. Not only do good deeds make us feel better, but as David Brooks explained in his article “Nice Guys Finish First,” people who are kind and compassionate are often the most successful. That said, we don’t make children happy when we simply enable them to be receivers of kindness. We heighten their feelings of happiness, improve their well-being, reduce bullying, enrich their friendships, and build peace by teaching them to be givers of kindness.

Gift-giving during the holidays, or for other special occasions, can shape children’s lifelong identities. The values your family holds about gift-giving can be turned into powerful lessons that teach compassion, empathy, and kindness. Be proactive about your values as you develop holiday traditions. Include children in conversations about how to give to others.

Regarded as one of the greatest human virtues by all major religious traditions, compassion is an emotional response and attitude toward others that is deeply empathetic. It enables us to connect to human suffering with care and understanding, acting in ways that brings comfort to those around us. Families instill compassion at home by: 1) Providing opportunities to practice compassion, 2) Helping children understand anger; and 3) Teaching children to self-regulate their emotions.

Families who demonstrate caring, cooperation, compassion, kindness, service, teamwork, and the importance of getting along with others are powerful empathy-builders. From elementary school through high school, children should evolve through three developmental stages as they take on roles in society: (1) Being responsible citizens; (2) Improving their communities; and (3) Contributing to solve societal problems.

When families cultivate curiosity about how individuals and groups of people see the world differently, they expand children’s intellectual, interpersonal, and emotional boundaries. They help children recognize and understand differing perspectives. When challenged to explore prejudices, find commonalities, and glean meaning from what they imagine life would be like to walk in another person’s shoes, children build a greater capacity for empathy.

Raising children to become active citizens doesn’t happen by chance. It happens when children 1) Connect with others in need, 2) Confront moral dilemmas, 3) Reflect on their values, 4) Notice how social issues are connected, and 5) Create positive and passionate civic identities.

Children gain developmental benefits from participating in community service. Tweens and teens are especially ready to stretch in ways that bring deeper meaning to life. But to do so, they need adult support and encouragement.

Family values are reflections of who we are and how we parent. When parents lead with empathy, gratitude, and kindness, children learn to do the same. Learn how to articulate and express your family values so that children understand and learn from them.

Ron Lieber, author of The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart about Money, says, “Every conversation about money is also about values. Allowance is also about patience. Giving is about generosity. Work is about perseverance.” The more kids learn about money from an early age, the more they can contribute to family conversations that tap into deep emotions and moral dilemmas. These discussions can help children put themselves in other children’s shoes, help them understand people different from themselves, and provide opportunities for them to give their own earned money to benefit others.

Excerpt from Original Blog by Roots of Action