Kids & Loss

An earthquake of emotions that fractures our emotional landscape does not even come close to explaining what it entails to lose a loved one.  Although death is a permanent form of loss, there are other forms of devastating loss.  One of the most common forms of loss for children is divorce and moving house. The reason for this is that these are situations where the children have no say and no other choice but to accept.  Children however have fewer skills and require more time to adjust to these situations, which makes them more susceptible to experience loss than adults.

There are two sets of distinct skill children must learn in dealing with loss. The first is the ability to understand and have empathy for someone who experienced any form of loss. The second is to deal with experiencing loss themselves.

Whenever you hear about someone your family knows, who might have experienced loss, take the opportunity to discuss it with your child.  Help your child understand how devastated that person feels.  Explain that the person might be less interested in playing (if it is a child) or might seem more tired than usual.  Encourage them to listen whenever a friend wants to talk to them about their loss.  Teach your child that this is something which no person must be teased about.  Teach your child to respect someone else’s grieving process. Also explain to your child some of the challenges a friend of theirs might face after a loss. Tell them that it is important to support them and love them through the difficult time and to go easy on them.

Loss and learning how to effectively deal with it, can help kids develop essential life skills and develop their emotional intelligence.