Blog Post

The Link Between Physical Appearance and Self-Perception in Children

Donna Maurer • Feb 28, 2024

If there’s one thing we can all agree on is that children grow up too fast. Unless we keep close tabs, years pass quicker than we can track, and we can miss out on many experiences our little ones go through in their early life. Children are like sponges – they absorb and identify with their circumstances. Relationships in their home and school affect every aspect of their life, and creating safe, open, and welcoming surroundings for them to grow up in is essential.


As your child develops self-perception and tries to find their place in the world, a process that follows naturally is that they tie it to their physical appearance. This is almost inevitable, seeing that we live in a world founded on impossible beauty standards where fitting in is celebrated over acceptance. That’s why the link between physical appearance and self-perception in children becomes so deep-seated – it’s a big part of human nature.


How Self-Perception and Appearance Are Connected in Children


Children lean on their parents and their environment to teach them about life, and self-perception is one of the building blocks of their mental health. Physical appearance is almost constantly commented on, and if a child stands out, chances are, people around it will point it out sooner rather than later. 


A
child can easily internalize someone else’s comments and attitudes and accept them as their own, which directly affects how they see themselves. This, in turn, can influence every aspect of their life and, in some cases, cause a trauma response that shows itself through their behavior. 


These are some of the areas of their life that are most significantly impacted.


Interacting with Their Friends and Family


Feeling accepted at a most basic physical level is something all humans crave, children most of all. If a child doesn’t fit the norm of beauty and physical appearance, they quickly recognize it by comparing themselves to their peers. If they’re teased or bullied for being different, children have a tendency to retreat and become more closed off toward the world. That’s why there are still so many schools that insist on the
benefits of uniforms, the judgment on physical appearance lessens when everyone looks similar.


This behavior can make it difficult for them to form meaningful relationships with family and other children. If the commentary on their appearance is constant within their family circle, the trauma of rejection becomes even deeper and more painful, making it hard for young kids to feel like they’re a part of a community. The voice of being judged for who you are and what you look like almost always becomes their internal voice that can only further compromise their feelings of worth and self-love.


Low Levels of Self-Esteem


The importance of self-esteem can’t be overstated, both in children and grownups. It’s a characteristic that needs to be honed your whole life, and if you didn’t fit in when you were younger, the need to build and nurture a healthy relationship with yourself is all the more important. 


How kids perceive their physical appearance is heavily impacted by how their environment perceives it. Negative comments, seclusion, and bullying based on their physical appearance can have long-term consequences on children’s self-esteem that echo well into their adult life. On the other hand, little ones praised for their appearance naturally have higher self-esteem, which later transforms into stronger confidence, which is positively reflected in their achievements. 


Mental Health Struggles


A child’s emotions are pliable, which is why an imposed negative self-image can severely affect their mental health in a variety of ways. When kids are younger, the internalized self-image creates a set of mechanisms that can either help them grow into well-rounded individuals or struggle in adolescence and adult life.


Child’s negative perception of their physical appearance can be connected with increased levels of stress, social anxiety, as well as feelings of shame and insecurity. These can later turn into mental health issues that can vary anywhere from social anxiety to eating disorders and depression. 


Encouraging Positive Self-Perception in Children


The way kids develop their self-perception is a complex and multifaceted process, so it’s not always easy to keep tabs on it, but it’s the primary job of parents and educators to do just that.


Thankfully, there’s more and more awareness around this important topic, and there are also powerful ways to support your young ones as they learn to navigate the world and all its challenges. Here’s what you can do to foster the feeling of trust, security, and encouragement for your children.


It All Starts with You


The good old saying “Do as I say, not as I do” means nothing to children. They absorb not only your words and behaviors but also your underlying emotions and intentions. If you want them to have strong self-esteem and confidence, that practice must start with you. It’s vital that you show them how it’s done, always coming forth with a healthy and positive attitude towards physical appearance, because that will help them adopt that same behavior.


Building Healthy Habits


“Health comes first” is a wisdom every human should live by and a way of life that should be prioritized and discussed. A healthy attitude towards food paired with plenty of movement and exercise could set the right foundations for how your kids see themselves and the world. Create an environment where your young ones have the freedom of self-expression and their unique qualities are valued and celebrated. It will help them feel competent and good in their own skin, and that invaluable feeling will further nudge them toward positive self-perception and self-image.


Keep the Conversation Going


As your kid’s self-perception develops, they go through different stages of their life, and giving them the room to openly talk about their struggles will make it much easier for you to help them. This doesn’t mean you need to have all the answers, but rather, your child should feel that they can trust you, knowing you will listen and try to understand their struggles to the best of your ability. Nurturing positive body talk and creating an atmosphere of support, love, and radical acceptance all go a long way in giving your kid a leg-up in building their self-esteem block by block.


Conclusion


The link between physical appearance and self-perception in children is an intrinsic one, the one that will follow them throughout their lives. This doesn’t mean that you should protect them from the world and its negative parts at all costs. Instead, help them develop a strong sense of self that isn’t easily swayed or hurt by someone’s comments and opinions. Resilience and strong self-esteem come hand in hand, and it all sprouts from the roots of positive self-perception.

Share Post

Complete the following form if you require more info about EQ4kids or want to enroll your child at your nearest Franchise.

Blog Enquiry

The Role of Calm Environment in Managing Childhood Anxiety
By Donna Maurer 15 Mar, 2024
Childhood anxiety is a real theme that affects many households today. This is because parents' busy lives and hectic schedules can easily trickle down to children. Children also have access to social media and technology. On one hand, it can be a powerful tool; on the other, it can be disruptive.
Planner Power: How Kids Can Organize Their Day and Have Fun
By Donna Maurer 19 Feb, 2024
It seems like today’s kids have a lot going on. Between sports, school, and other recreational activities, kids can have a hard time keeping up. Having a say in their schedule can be a powerful tool, and that’s why having a planner can make such a positive impact.
7 Positive Parenting Resources You’ll Want to Check Out
By External Article 30 Jun, 2022
People always say it takes a village to raise a kid, but I’m convinced it takes a village to raise parents, too. Once those sweet cherubs arrive, it’s really the PARENTS who need the help–the encouragement, the guidance, and the wisdom to become the parents they’ve always wanted to be. While I’ve dedicated my life to teaching Positive Parenting strategies to thousands of families , I’m also the first to seek out experts on topics outside my wheelhouse. I love sharing resources I know will bring measurable, easy-to-implement relief and long-term support to families in our Positive Parenting Solutions community. Lucky for all of us, there are a plethora of people and companies who’ve dedicated their time to creating tools, programs, and resources that seamlessly support parents who are trying to implement Positive Parenting strategies in their home. Here are a few of my favorite resources that complement our Positive Parenting Solutions course . I’ve divided the list into “Parent-Focused Resources” (you know the drill…put YOUR oxygen mask on first!) and “Kid-Focused Resources.” Parent-Focused Resources Comedian Jim Gaffigan once said, “You know what it’s like having a fourth kid? Imagine you’re drowning, then someone hands you a baby.” Whether you have one kid or 10, I think every parent can relate to Gaffigan’s sentiment–we feel forever-behind, overwhelmed, and exhausted on the daily. Yes, I know you’d do anything for your children, but here’s what YOUR kids need most: a healthy, content, in-control, and capable YOU! I know that notion may feel like a pipe-dream, but it’s exactly why I want you to check out a few of my all-time favorite parent-centered resources that will help YOU get your life organized and on track. 1. The Step Program Family Organization Solution Why I love it: I’m obsessed with The STEP Program from Learn Do Become because you’ll learn how to stop drowning in piles of paper, clutter, emails, and to-do lists! The STEP Program , from my good friends April and Eric Perry, will give you a step-by-step roadmap (along with ongoing support) to organize your home, office, and life while building a strong family! How does it support Positive Parenting? Let’s be honest, it can be difficult to get your parenting life in order when your home life feels like constant chaos. Instead of daily disorder and chaos, imagine having a well-organized “Command Central”– a place where everything is organized and you know exactly what needs to be done and when. Imagine freeing up your mental and physical “clutter” so you have the time and energy to be the best positive parent you can be for your kids. That’s exactly what you’ll learn to do in The STEP program . As someone who struggles in the organization department (ask my teammates or my husband !)–I can’t recommend this program highly enough! 2. The Balanced Life Online Fitness and Health Solution Why I love it: I love this program because it removes the obstacles for moms who are short on time—and actually equips them to lead a healthy balanced lifestyle. My sweet friend, Robin Long created a perfectly doable, comprehensive online wellness solution that fits YOUR schedule–with an incredibly supportive online member community called the “Sisterhood.” In the “Sisterhood,” Robin offers monthly pilates workouts for ALL SKILL LEVELS (ranging from 10-30 minutes), healthy and family-friendly recipes, and an entire library of searchable pilates workouts. (Plus! A portion of every purchase goes to support children in need.) The other reason I’m obsessed with this program is because Robin is just SO REAL. She is a mom of four (including newborn twins!) and she gets us! She understands busy moms and she’s tailored the program to work with our lives, not compete with them. How does it support Positive Parenting? Let’s be honest, even though you KNOW your health is important–family life happens. And on queue, your health needs get sent to the sideline while you give every bit of mental and physical energy to take care of everyone else. You wait for a “less busy season” so you can “get back on track”–but that time never comes. Even in the busiest seasons of your life, The Balanced Life is the perfect safe-zone to get back on track so YOU can be the healthiest, happiest version of yourself–and be the loving, patient, positive parent to the people you love most! Kid-Focused Resources Now that parents have the resources to become the best versions of themselves, here are a few of my favorite kid-focused resources. These courses and programs are designed to address specific parenting struggles and I look to these instructors for wisdom in each of these areas! 3. Kids Cook Real Food Kids’ Cooking Solution Why I love it: While the entire Kitchen Stewardship website is a goldmine when it comes to healthy living, let me draw your attention to their Kids Cook Real Food Online Course . This, my friends, is for any parent who’s ever wondered, “Is it worth letting them ‘help’ if they leave eggshells in the bowl and splatter spaghetti sauce all over the walls when they are manning the whisk?” I get it. It often feels MORE difficult to invite kiddos into the kitchen when you’re just trying to get dinner on the table. But have no fear, Katie Kimball leads you step-by-step through a comprehensive cooking course that will teach your child (and YOURSELF) how to cook safely in the kitchen. With suggestions for kids of all ages–toddlers to teens–you’ll give your children life-long culinary skills that will benefit them (and any future spouse) for years to come! How does it support Positive Parenting? Equipping children to do tasks around the house will have life-long benefits as your kids grow into adults. With each new skill they learn in the kitchen, they’ll feel more confident and independent–which is what Positive Parenting is all about! Kids of all ages love to help around the kitchen–I mean, what kid DOESN’T want to wield a knife? Unfortunately, parents often turn away the help from younger children, but then get upset when their teenager no longer wants to help. If the long-term goal is to have a teenager who helps around the house and in the kitchen, we need to steward and encourage the “help” from our littles–even if it does take a little training and a few tries to get it right! 4. Oh Crap! Potty Training Course Potty Training Solution Why I love it: It’s simple and specific. My friend, Jamie Glowacki, is my absolute favorite person to potty talk with. She is truly an expert in the potty training arena and has helped THOUSANDS of parents tackle this potentially treacherous season. The Oh Crap! Potty Training Course is filled with action-packed strategies and step-by-step instructions to guide parents through the dreaded potty training days. How does it support Positive Parenting? Jamie’s method is fast, effective and gentle. She equips parents with the tools they need so potty training doesn’t turn into a power struggle. Her method isn’t punitive or rewards-based making it the PERFECT complement for any Positive Parenting Journey. Positive Parenting Solutions members will recognize Jamie from our Potty Training 101 advanced module! 5. The Birds and the Bees Solutions Center Positive Sex Education Solution Why I love it: It’s the conversation so many parents DREAD having–you want to teach your kids about the birds and the bees but aren’t sure how to do it in an age-appropriate way. You know it’s important to talk about their private parts, but how do you do it in a less awkward way? I love Amy Lang’s courses because she gives parents actionable steps and SCRIPTS to engage in healthy conversations about body parts and sex in a way that supports YOUR family values. No need to worry about “what” to say, Amy gives you everything you need! Plus! She has course offerings for Preschoolers to Teens! How does it support Positive Parenting? First, Amy Lang is a certified Positive Discipline instructor so her strategies most definitely align with Positive Parenting strategies . Her courses focus on maintaining open communication with your children and having honest conversations about bodies and sex so your children will view you as a trusted and valued resource on the topic–and so they’ll feel comfortable coming to you when they have questions. Plus! Amy takes the guesswork out of tackling the conversations which is a win-win for everyone! Positive Parenting Solutions members will recognize Amy from the Talking to Kids About Sex In a Way that Supports Your Family Values advanced module in the online course ! 6. GoZen Child Anxiety Solutions Why I love it: My friend, Renee Jain, created GoZen for kids ages 4-15-ish who struggle with high stress and anxiety. I love this program because kids learn by watching animated cartoons–really! Kids watch engaging, entertaining cartoons to learn skills of resilience and well-being. In addition, imaginative games, workbooks, and quizzes enrich their learning. GoZen also has programs to teach resilience skills for kids who struggle with OCD, panic attacks, negative thoughts and more. How does it support Positive Parenting? The underlying goal of Positive Parenting is to meet the emotional needs of our children FIRST. While all humans have the same hardwired needs for belonging and significance, some children have additional emotional needs that must be addressed for Positive Parenting strategies to work effectively. For children who experience high levels of anxiety and stress in particular situations, it’s critical for them to learn the skills to recognize those feelings and work through them so they can be the best versions of themselves. GoZen has the resources you need to address any deeper emotional needs to ensure Positive Parenting works effectively for your child. Positive Parenting Solutions members will recognize Renee in the Help for the Anxious Child advanced module in the online course! 7. The Social Institute Social Media Training for Kids Solution Why I love it: Social media expert and 4 time Duke All-American athlete, Laura Tierney designed The Social Institute to help kids WIN at social media. The Social Institute takes a kid-centered approach to social media by empowering children to take control of their online presence. Through games, interactives, and group instruction, The Social Institute is bringing parents, students, and teachers the most revolutionary social media curriculum. How does it support Positive Parenting? One of the primary goals of Positive Parenting is to raise responsible, capable, and independent children . While it may seem easier (and sometimes necessary) to simply forbid all social media from your home or block particular websites, The Social Institute TEACHES children how to use social media responsibly. By equipping kids with the appropriate tools and wisdom to use social media responsibly, parents no longer have to worry about limiting access altogether. Plus, when children feel a sense of power and control over their lives, they are more resilient, respectful and less likely to act out. Positive Parenting Solutions members will recognize Laura from the Social Media Training for Kids advanced module. Final Thoughts While there are many incredible tools, courses, and resources on the market to support a Positive Parenting journey, it’s imperative parents are also equipped with a toolbox of Positive Parenting discipline strategies.  Our comprehensive online parenting course is designed for toddlers to teens because we know parents need a life-long, foolproof roadmap to handle the biggest power struggles. I know firsthand because I’ve been there–and so have thousands of other families. Original Article - Positive Parenting Solutions
Adults Who Weren’t Allowed To Express Their Feelings As Children
By Antoinette Steyn 26 May, 2022
Children who are not allowed to express their feelings can have a life-lasting effect. Some of these effects might include
Think Before You Respond To Your Child
By Antoinette Steyn 26 May, 2022
We all find it difficult sometimes to not react in the heat of the moment. We even encounter moments as parents where we blurt out things we never intended to say with a tone of voice we often don’t even recognise as our own.
Tips To Help Your Family Members Keep Their Chin Up
By Antoinette Steyn 28 Apr, 2022
Creating a positive atmosphere in a household and a healthy emotional climate can help kids to have more overall positive days.
Helping Your Child Look After Their Mental Health
By Antoinette Steyn 28 Apr, 2022
As parents we sometimes get emerged in school exams, tests and assessments and sometimes neglect the mental health of our children.
Family Responsibilities
By Antoinette Steyn 28 Apr, 2022
One of the biggest responsibilities that every member of a family has, is the responsibility to ensure that they build good relationships with their family members.
The First 7 Years Matter – So Does The Rest…
By Antoinette Steyn 28 Apr, 2022
It has often been said that the most important developmental aspects occur in the first seven years of a child’s life.
Show More
Share by: