Every child, and adult, needs to have a good attitude towards life

In that Disney Classic, Marry Poppins, she sings “a spoon full of sugar, helps the medicine go down”. It has a catchy tune, but this song also carries much wisdom. If you have a good attitude, you can face all of life’s challenges, getting better without getting bitter.

Your attitude is your perspective on life. It determines how you react to change, to people and to your circumstances. It’s far more than the “do you see the glass half full or half empty” scenario. It’s to have a “I can” and “I will” way of living.

It’s true that some temperaments, the Blue and Greens, tend to be more negative towards life, while the people with Red and Yellow temperaments, tend to be more positive. (For more on the Four Colour Temperaments click here ).

Although your temperament is inborn, you can always learn to adopt a positive attitude towards life in general. The earlier this education process start, the better.

For your child to have a positive outlook on life, you must have a positive one too. Children do not always listen to what adults say, but they do copy them! If you are forever complaining about your circumstances, the bad economy, people irritating you or how much you dread going to work on a Monday, chances are your children will be doing it too.
Positive thinking is a skill that can be taught to a child by any loving adult. It develops greatly from the basis of receiving encouraging words, believing in your child and creating a world for them in which they can learn that there is always an opportunity and good things right around the corner.

Positive thinking starts out with only a seed planted in the mind of a child. Try to often remind your child that they are destined for great things. A positive attitude can make life more manageable, especially in a world filled with violence, negativity and suffering. It is not always possible to control what happens to us, but we can be more conscious towards reacting more positively. When children develop a positive attitude early in life, positive thinking becomes a habit for them which can ease the pressures associated with growing up.

Let’s look at some practical age-appropriate things you can do with your child to help them develop the right attitude.

• Never underestimate the value of your own actions. Children will watch and copy what their parents do. Constantly review the attitude you have towards life as a parent.
  
• Make use of “teachable moments”. These are the small moments in your own life, and that of others, which you can use to help children see how to overcome adversity and how to remain positive.
  
• Have your child think of someone with a good attitude and someone with a bad attitude and have them tell you more about these people. Point out to them how they rather might enjoy spending time with the person who has a good attitude.
  
• When your child is mad or upset about something, after talking it through, do something really funny which will make them laugh and point out to them how much better they feel if a change in their attitude occurs.
  
• Start teaching your child words which describes someone with a good attitude e.g. Appreciates things, doesn’t complain often or smiles a lot.
  

• Help children explore what their own attitudes are like. Make use of situations they encountered before. Help them become aware of how they think and feel and help them to expand on the ways they reacted in certain situations. Go back to things that have happened to them and point out the good things which had happened or lessons they had learned through unpleasant situations.
  
• Ask your child to come up with one thing that makes them feel really bad and ask them to come up with an idea on how to see this as a good thing as well.
  
• Teach your child to start controlling the thoughts they have and the conversations they have with themselves. Rather than saying “I am not good at this” teach them to be able to say, “I might not be good at this yet, but luckily there are many other things I am good at”.
  
• Start teaching your child that feeling positive or negative about something is their choice.
  
• Create more opportunities for your child to do things they are really good at. Having confidence plays a big role in having a good attitude.
  
• Start keeping a journal with your child of all his/her good accomplishments as well as occasions where he/she learned lessons. Encourage them through this to not only see good things and bad things, but rather good things and opportunities through which they have learned a new lesson even though it might seem like something bad had happened.
  

• In which way do you, as a parent, tend to see things – do you deliberately choose to look for the good/positive in every situation no matter how bad it might be? Do you make sure that you comment on things or situations in life by making use of positive or uplifting words rather than always saying negative things?
  
• Every day consists of opportunities to teach our children to have a good attitude. You can, for instance, point out negative things around you to your child and encourage them to look at it and rather identify something positive/display a good attitude.
  
• Teach your child to be thankful. Let him/her start a journal where they list 5 things each day for which they are thankful for. Let him/her also write down on a weekly basis the things they want to achieve during the week. Discuss with them how they want to achieve their goals. Give positive encouragements.
  
• If your child is really struggling with something, always remind them to think of all the things they have done well in the past, and all the problems they have overcome. Encourage them to say: “I can do this, and I will keep on trying until I succeed.”
  
• Teach your child to not give up, but to keep on trying. Encourage him/her to read books, watch movies where the character struggled at first but didn’t give up and succeeded in the end.
  
• Share with your child your own stories of how you had struggled with something but with persistence and determination managed to overcome your struggles. Choose stories from your own past when you were your child’s age, and not necessarily those that you have struggled with as an adult.
  
• Guide your child to discover ways to deal with bad moods, failure or heartaches. He/she might find it relaxing to listen to music, play with clay, paint, or build something with their blocks. When he/she really struggles with something, say for example a difficult maths problem, teach them that it’s okay to leave the problem for a while and to step away and do something to calm down, like reading or listening to music, before trying the problem again.
  

Cultivating a positive attitude takes time and patience. Praise your child’s efforts towards having a good attitude and encourage them to keep on trying when they are struggling to stay positive.