Kids and Anger

Most children lose their temper at times, yell, scream or even want to hit something or someone.  Everyone gets angry; when children are treated unfairly, they tend to stand up for themselves by reacting in anger.  It is however very important to teach children what to do and what not to do when they are angry.  It is okay to get angry, just as long as the anger gets released in appropriate ways.  It is important for parents to find ways not to feed into their child’s emotional outbursts.

Start teaching younger children to remove him/herself from the situation and to recognise what it is that sparks their anger.  Practise regular relaxation techniques with your child after they felt angry.

Any emotions dealt with inappropriately, especially anger, can have devastating effects. Anger can trigger the fight and flight response of a person. Other emotions that can also trigger this effect, include excitement, fear and anxiety.  When this happens, the adrenal glands flood a person’s body with stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenalin.  The brain shunts blood away from a person’s gut and directs it towards muscles, which prepares the body for physical exertion.  Accordingly, anger affects the whole body.  Harm can be caused to many systems of the body because of the constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that goes with recurrent unmanaged anger.

Teenagers are especially prone to dealing with anger ineffectively. If they are not guided towards better anger management, it can become habitual and very deep-rooted behaviour which will be much harder to change later in adulthood.

It is important to know that anger is not always just a bad emotion.  Many people consider it to be an inappropriate or all negative emotion and choose to rather suppress it.  Bottled up anger tends to turn into depression or anxiety problems more easily.  Teach your child to make use of healthy ways to express anger.  Healthy ways to deal with anger include:

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  Recognising and accepting the emotion as normal and a part of life;
• Being able to pinpoint the exact cause of feelings of anger.
• If you can’t control your anger while in confrontation, rather walk away and continue the confrontation when you have cooled down.
• If you know what triggers your anger, make sure you have different strategies on how to address the emotion.
• Physical activities can reduce anger.  These activities can include going for a run, cycling or playing sports.
• Make use of relaxation techniques.
• Teach your child how to make use of assertiveness techniques and develop different positive conflict resolution skills.
• Motivate your child to exercise regularly. Numerous studies around the world have concluded that regular exercise can reduce stress levels and improve a person’s mood.  Physical exertion burns up stress chemicals and it boosts the production of mood-regulating neurotransmitters in the brain.
• Encourage open and honest communication within your family.

Anger management is a technique that can be used through which disruptive behaviour can be decreased.  Teach your child to put themselves in the other person’s shoes before resorting to anger. Be aware of all your emotional and physical reactions when angered.  Various anger management programs monitored their groups and concluded that the participants experienced an overall decrease in alcohol abuse and an improvement in self-esteem.  If you can teach your child to manage their emotions, especially their anger, you will contribute greatly to their level of self-confidence and potential success in life.