Repair Rather Than Repeat

Antoinette Steyn • January 27, 2022

It is normal for every parent to make mistakes. Parents often experience a huge amount of stress, especially when they have to balance raising kids and having a full-time job. In these moments of feeling overwhelmed, parents often snap at their kids, take the wrong approach or say things that might make their kids feel hurt. These are the moment when we as parents need to do some repair work often by apologising wholeheartedly. Here are a few examples of good ways to apologise and repair:


“When we returned from the playground, everyone was asking me things at the same time and I had to make sure you didn’t leave any of your toys behind. I am sorry I yelled at you. Next time I am going to try and take a few deep breaths, to calm down and think before I yell”


“We all had to rush this morning to get ready for school, it was a long day for me, I think I need to take a break, would you like to go and sit outside with me for a while?”


“I know that was hard for you...I enjoyed watching you do your best. Thank you for trying to calm yourself down before you yelled at your brother. Is there something I can help you with?”



“I am sorry I didn’t answer you, I was focusing on the dinner I was busy making and didn’t realise you were speaking to me. I have a moment to listen now, will you please repeat what you said?”


Repair work can help our kids regulate big emotions and often creates opportunities for very important discussions with our kids. Don’t let these moment’s pass you by.

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