Emotional Validation
Antoinette Steyn • February 25, 2022
Sometimes there is a thin line between statements that truly validate the feelings of others and statements that don’t. Helping our kids improve their overall emotional intelligence will require us as parents to ensure that we make use of the correct emotional validation statements. Let’s take a closer look at some validating and some invalidating statements:
| INVALIDATING STATEMENTS: | VALIDATING STATEMENTS: |
|---|---|
| “Learn to just let it go” | “I am here to support you” |
| “It is not just you who suffers” | “I can see that you are upset” |
| “You think that’s bad, I have it even worse” | “I am here to listen, please remember that you can talk to me” |
| “You are always too sensitive” | “That must have been hard for you” |
| “You seem perfectly fine to me” | “What is it that you need?” |
| “I am sure they just made a joke” | “What can I do to support you” |
Validating the overwhelming feelings our kids experience takes the same amount of energy to just dismiss them, in fact, it sometimes takes less energy and helps us as parents to regulate our own emotions as well. Remember, it is also appropriate to ask your child if you can have a moment to think before you respond”.
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