What Does An Emotionally Intelligent Conversation Look Like?

Antoinette Steyn • May 20, 2021

What does the typical conversations you have with your child look like? Are you making use of the benefits of emotionally intelligence when having these conversations? Let’s tale a look at an example of a typical emotionally intelligent conversation initiated by an emotionally intelligent patent.


Example Of A Conversation Initiated By An Emotionally Intelligent Parent:


PARENT: Hi son, tell me about your day at school?


CHILD: It was not a good day dad.


PARENT: What made it “not a good day”?


CHILD: There were a lot of mean kids today.


PARENT: What do these kids do that make you think they are mean?


CHILD: They pick on me.


PARENT: That probably didn’t make you feel good.


CHILD: Yes.


PARENT: Tell me what they did.


CHILD: They called me silly names and made fun of my nose.


PARENT: I am sorry to hear that, how did that make you feel?


CHILD: I don’t know, but two of these kids are in my class and I want to switch classes 


PARENT: It sounds as if you might be scared of them, are you?


CHILD: Yes, I am.


PARENT: I am glad you told me. Do you think they know how you feel?


CHILD: I don’t know.


PARENT: What did you do when they made fun of you?


CHILD: I just went and sat with some other friends of mine.


PARENT: Did that help to make you feel safer? And what did the mean kids do then?


CHILD: They laughed at me until the other kids told them to stop.


PARENT: That probably didn’t feel good either, how did you feel when that happened?


CHILD: I felt sad.


PARENT: What happened when you got back to class?


CHILD: They called me a baby for hiding behind the other kids.


PARENT: I am sorry that happened to you. I understand now why you said your day at school wasn’t good. Let’s talk about things you can try and do the next time something like this happens.


Write a dialogue of your typical conversation between you and your child and compare it to the typical emotionally intelligent conversation between a parent and child.

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